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wednesday, march 26, 2008
One of the hardest things I have to deal with time and again is uncovering new faults I had not before realized existed within me. For some time now, my faith was at a standstill. By no means did I think myself perfect, but I think that in many ways I was weary of all the ways in which I was so unlike Jesus. And so I think I shut out the tough thoughts. But last night I was speaking with a friend and got on a rant about how important it is for us to think because it is what we use to communicate and language is what makes us human.
So here I will think, and struggle with what is hard. And for one so out of practice as me, this may be a struggle. I am disappointed in myself after coming home from this trip. I can admit that for some time now, I have thought of myself in much-too-bright a light that washed me out more than I ought to have been. I guess this analogy makes sense to an actor or stage performer more than to a crime investigator, but just go with me. When theatre lights are too bright, they make your face pale-mine becomes white-rather than show the flaws. And that is how I envisioned myself. I guess you could call me a schitzophrenic of the mind because I did not see the way I really was. Coming home, I am beginning to peel back the layers of white to uncover what is not-so-pure as I'd hoped.
The way I compartmentalize my life is in many ways shattering to me. This realization that in my life I dole out paperwork to be stored away in files marked "to serve" and "not to serve." And in reality, every experience ought to be have the stamp of "Servanthood" on it. If I am a disciple of Christ, and am striving to become more like Him, the most basic immitation of Him is servanthood. I believe anyone who knows Jesus, whether alive 2008 years ago, or today, would use the word servant to sum up His mission.
So like the worship song, "Christ in the hearts of all who think of me; Christ on the ears of all who hear me." I am so dissapointed that I have had this whole rotten layer of flesh being covered by stage makeup. I am so saddened to learn that all that time of my unwillingness to think about tough things, I might have been growing in this area and allowing the Lord to mold me in His image. But God works in His own time, so there is a reason why I am learning now to make my heart a temple or servanthood.
P.S. Salads are spectacular.
wednesday, march 19, 2008
Sorry I didn't get to blog anoche amigos...Computer lab was locked when we got home.
Yesterday we went to Manoj's other school, (sp???) the Sengaii village school. I actually got to play with the kids there rather than paint so it was absolutely the highlight so far. Frankie, Becca, Thellie and i colored with the younger ones. But they only let the younger ones color, and that was sad because several of the other girls were already my friends. While walking down to the building they had met up with us, and told me "mera na'am ____ heh." pooja was the girl holding my hand. I'm guessing she was in sixth grade. But those girls danced outside with mel and them while we "colAR"ed. Then we wanted to teach them duck duck goose but because of the language barrier, standing in a circle became everyone thinking we were about to do a folk dance i'd seen Pooja teaching them outside. So I called Pooja in and the other girls I'd met ame to and that brought keely and Mel and Brittany and so most of us were in this tiny room doing a folk dance about "come get on my motorcycle give me your number beautiful girl" in hindi!!!
At the first building where we'd arrived, we went into a kindergarten class where Katherine and I tried to get two despondant children to play. One began responding right before we had to walk down to the main building. By the time we had to leave, those two little girls cried when we left. I picked Pinta up and danced with her and she was so happy that I could die. But her big sister left her there because Mel was holding her and feeding her so the girl left her sister there. She was a nice girl though and luckily came back. That was after we gave them oranges and gummi bears and sips from our juice boxes. it was heartbreaking when Mel set that little girl down and she wouldn't let go!!
After that we waked around downtown and rode a ferris wheel powered be a man climbing up into the center of the spoke and running to make it go. That was wicked cool. Today we are going to the school where miss seefeldt will be working next year. Tell you all bout it I hope, but I have to go now on account'a its way time to leave cause we're walking.
monday, march 17, 2008
So now that we are at the woodstock school where we will be staying for five days, i think my blogs will be far more current and regular.
Yesterday, the day consisted mostly of a long, long, LONG busride. (1hours to be approximately exactish. :) The distance between New Delhi and Mussoorie is equivalent to the distance from Atl to Birmingham. That's what? Around two maybe two1/2 hours? Oh no. You haven't driven in Indian traffic yet! The rules are all quite optional: which side of the road? Will we stop at this light? Hope we don't hit that car we're not braking for. Ooh-look a man having an epileptic fit in the middle of the road, dang i hope we move soon. etc etc...
Don't be worried though; it really is how they drive and they're all very adequate at this unique helter-skelter, free-style form. It was the crazy driver that was amusing really. He was great the first day, but the supposed seven hour bussride was lengthened due to his need to assert power over a woman (aka mama seefeldt herself). Anywhoo, we arrived, and met the fam. Both mr seefeldt and a man named monoj (min-oje) spoke. Also, ohnd, their music director taught us some songs and matt taught them some songs. Too bad though 'acause we were all falling asleep so it was pretty unsuccesful i believe.
Monoj has begun two schools. Both nestled in the gorgeous himilayas mountains, or as the hindi pronunciation goes, "him-ahl-yahs." We worked at the first today. Last night, those of us not nodding off embarassedly heard Monoj's testimony, which involves a vision. In this dream, Monoj saw sheep stuck in briars and he could not rescue them because he was afraid he was not strong enough. But God said, 'You grab them and I will grab you.' So at the school today, we started a mural with Jesus and a boy pulling a sheep from the thicket. It's very good; Francesca and Becca drew it.
In the inside classrooms, Katherine and I set to work coloring on the walls. Bright colors were what Monoj had ordered, so I took a wall and so did she and together we set off to cheer the place up. On mine I drew a vibrant sun, blue sky and clouds and birds, a tree line, and mountains like the ones they have outside their window. Newt time we go, I am going to draw their school into the picture. Katherine drew a cross which incidentally looks like the Wheaton symbol! Also, she is working on hands holding the world. We plan to write a verse in hindi about the light of the world, and will also paint around the front chalkboard. Others in my group played soccer with the kids, taught songs and danced with them.
The walks were most memorable to me. obviously, for a village school on a precipice, cars could not exactly take us there. So we braved four hours of walking to reach these kids. It was definitely rewarding in many, many ways. It was absolutely beautiful: hills stretching into the distance so far that each mountain is itself a different, hazier shade of purple. "whispering pine" forests prickle up the spines of these majestic swells of the globe. And William found excitement exploring the caves spotting the side of the pathway. Many nomadic-style villagers and their cows nested along our way. A simple nod and 'numaste' sufficed for a greeting.
Monoj brought us into two homes for us to pray. The first, for the father of three children. We crowded into the one-room house to pray for the sick man. The next, a praise for a young girl previously suffering from epiplepsy. Through prayer, however, God had healed her fully. Oh yeah-and I threw up yesterday!! It was very eventful. Apparently all of that swerving got to me. Woot!
Love you mom and dad (and everyone else) and I'm thinking about you. I'll pray for you if you'll pray for me. Deal? Lovelovelove.
saturday, march 15, 2008
Before arriving in New Delhi we had been warned about the air, but still it was a shock to the lungs to breathe in the stinging air. Our teacher has accredited the obsenely high pollution levels to the location of New Delhi. Apparently it has something to do with the bowl-like shape that disallows the smog to move. Instead it hangs heavy over New Delhi. Here we have so far seen two sides of living: those things belonging to the wealthy, or those belonging to the impoverished poor.
Begging is an organized mafia here. Apparently, the children have quotas to reach and are abused frequently, So much so that recently there has been a push to not give these children money (which they do not even keep; they have people in charge of them whom the money goes to) but instead snacks or candy. Some children today were happy, like one child who asked for bread as well. Others seemed angry or insulted, scowling and offering up Hindi insults. All in all, it seems really beautiful here. I can't wait until we reach Missouri tomorrow because that is where we will be able to truly do God's work.
Please pray that the words we speak, actions we do, and lives we touch might be an embodiment of the love of Christ. Let us not be afraid, but be empowered by His love and will in our lives. Pray for the children in these rings. Also, for my brother Bo, who is in Romania right now. Pray that God will use it in his life, as well as use this trip in mine.
Today, we are leaving New Delhi to go to Mussoorie. It is going to be a seven hour busride. Woot! I am so glad that no one has gotten sick yet. Let's pray it stays that way. I'll do my absolute best to keep everyone updated back in the states! I miss everyone and be assured this trip is well-documented with the ole video camera. Don't forget that all the devotionals we do here are posted online, too. I'll be home soon -but not too soon i hope!
Thanks. Love you all!